Parenting Teens in a pandemic - possibly a new superpower?

Parenting teens in a pandemic - possibly a new superpower?

We are all finding the current situation difficult. However, teens are starved of their lifeline, their peers; as well as being stuck at home with younger siblings, parents and no apparent escape from school work - this creates the perfect combination for some pretty creative meltdowns.

Talking to parents, I am reassured my house is not the only place experiencing this perfect storm of teenage angst & frustration. So what can be done?

Firstly, accepting where we are at. This is an impossible scenario, over which we are ultimately powerless. As always, the small things in our control are what we can focus on.

The infograph I have created represents my survival guide. I have somehow trained myself to expect the explosions. Empathy with the young lad has served me well. So I had to ask myself, in all seriousness, how well behaved I would have been if this wholly unsatisfactory existence had happened to my teenage self? Sitting with that alternative reality was a wake up call, as I realised, very often my disrespect as a teen, was in fact misdirected frustration or anger.

So, what if we expect the expected? Prepare for moody outbursts & disrespectful turns of phrase. This doesn’t mean we condone this behaviour, rather allows us to respond than react. Reaction comes from a different part of the brain; one where we don’t measure our words or have as much control over what we say next! Response on the other hand, has control and the advantage of choice. It buys us valuable parental time, where we can happily preserve our relationship.

Rest assured, I don’t get this right all the time, but that’s ok. Aren’t we all human after all? I have found, when I do flip the lid; a grounding apology can create a connecting vulnerability in our relationship.

Families are all so unique & wonderfully eclectic. But we share a commonality of the need to self care. Find the things that allow you to power up as a parent. How can we be superheroes if we don’t recharge? When we are able to regulate, we can calmly respond to our kids better. Plan your consequences or perhaps carrots, with which you might offer motivation?

Be ready for the blow ups & allow them to run their course. When we approach a teen who’s shown their vulnerability, there is often an opportunity for connection.

Parenting is quite possibly one of the hardest jobs in the world, with no rule book or monetary gain to speak of - but we wouldn’t trade it for the world! The one source of comfort to me often is how many share the same experiences as I.

God speed - parent of teen(s) - you are not alone & you’ve got this!